Hello y’all, Luker here. I dropped off the map about 8 months ago when I moved to Texas–bountiful blog material there, I tell ya–and have come back because in approximately 40 days the first installment of Twilight: Breaking Dawn hits theaters, most likely to be documented in the Guinness Records as the World’s Largest Simultaneous Panty Soaking Event. As the Junction’s resident Pop Culture Vampire Expert, it is my duty to present it to you, dear readers, Sass-style.
Will I see Breaking Dawn? Most assuredly. Will I be outrageously drunk at the time? You’re a fool to ask. They bring pitchers of beer to you at your seat here. Providing its residents with ample, highly-caloric food and drink is one of the things Texas excels at, and I will gladly take a sip every time Edward’s facial expression emotes “constipation” rather than “love”.
Because I am nothing if not thorough, I’ve included both the teaser and full official trailers and will be referencing relevant bits from each. Join me after the cut for a ride that will be faster and crazier than a trip in Edward’s Volvo (no real prior knowledge of the franchise required to enjoy).