Have you just thrown a book towards a wall/small child/beloved pet? Have you found yourself wanting to inject heroin into your eyes before reading one more of a terrible heroine’s sentences (see: Bella Swan)? Ever wanted to dismember a popular author just enough to keep them from writing ever again? Not Misery maiming, but just a little Diamond-Mine, keep them from getting mouthy again maiming.
Well, you’ve come to the right place, my friend. Not only will we summarize the basic plot line of any story we find equally terrible, we’ll mock the author’s prose and thematic elements within an inch of libel. No story is too “classic” and no author untouchable. Consider this an open-minded roast of American Literature.*
Who are we to be making fun of the entire publishing industry? Well, we both have degrees in English (Sorcia has an MA) and we both work with literature on a daily basis (Luker works for a publishing company and Sorcia teaches idiots). So suck it, monkeys. We’re fucking qualified.
Place your suggestions in the comments, and please check the Full Title List to make sure it hasn’t been done before.
* I, Sorcia, do reserve the right to mock German and Japanese literature as well, since my cruel job forces me to read things like “The Makioka Sisters,” “The Wind-up-Bird Chronicles” and “Cat and Mouse.” *shudder of horror*