I used to spend my entire life trying to explain myself (and by “myself” I mean: my fucktastical adventures) to my friends and family. I would end conversations with sentences like, “And that’s how I ended up locked in a port-a-potty.” Or, “Then the bouncers all got on walkie-talkies and I got kicked out of every pub in the city.”
Because I’m inordinately lazy, now I just blog the hot mess one time and you can ALL come and experience what it’s like to be living and teaching in Bumblefuck, NC, surrounded by sasquatches, yokels and other cunt-tards, catering to catastrophe with nothin’ but a pocketful of sass to assist you.
(I’m the one on the left. The one kissing the pig.)
Other Info:
My Name — “Sorica MacNasty” is a pseudonym. Clearly. If you want more info on the drama of my name, click here. While I’m not obsessed with hiding my identity, nor do I feel it necessary to advertise my griefs/adventures/nefarious plots to the entire world. For instance, my personality alone makes work interviews awkward. Just imagine if those potential employers had this blog as back-up, to ask interesting questions from as the interview hit an inevitable lull. Also, despite being tortured by devil children, I actually liked most of the little fuckers. I don’t want to rub in their face that their idiocy if my writing fodder in a public sphere.
Basic Info: I live in North Carolina. I teach English at a local university. I am married to a very delightful husband who rarely causes me grief — you can tell this since he so rarely appears in this blog, which is generally a chronicle of fucktards and other dickwits. We have a dog. My parents live in FL, where I grew up, and my brother lives in NY. Most of my family and friends know about this blog because, frankly, I have almost no shame. Also, I’m not at all ashamed of my opinions, profanity or writing style. This is a blog. No one is forcing you to hang out here or read my admittedly self-centered opinions of the universe at large.
I hate fanatics and intolerance in equal measure. That’s why you won’t see a lot of posts on politics or religion.
If you do know my identity, I ask you to keep it on the DL, since I prefer this blog to be anonymous due to my educational career. If I ever change careers, I assure you this will change. Because (again), I have no shame.
Thanks for stopping by. I really do hope you enjoy the content. I love coments, so please feel free to express yourself. Extra credit if you make me laugh.
– Sorica
As I too sit around “hunkering down” for the miserable jizz drizzle that is Fay,(that fickle little slut)I find myself on your page. That’s right I still have power, see aforementioned fickle little slut comment.
It’s like your reading my fucking mind both opinions and your incredibly creative use of profanity. I thought I was the only gutter-mouthed little shit out of central Florida who would actually use phrases like holy fuck, fucktard, cuntard, douchebag, craptastic, and shitbag, in quick succession or possibly in one sentence. Also,you have echoed some of the cruelest/hilarious thoughts I have on a regular basis. This makes me feel less like a hilarious pariah and more just plain hilarious. Kudos,
you are indeed one “Bad Bitch”.
you’re hot.
as a south floridian, i probably wouldn’t make it more than 3 or 4 times with a girl from Orlando, espeially a blonde, but you are hot.
More importantly though, i need a little mentoring. I always worry about what i can say on my blog (which has been unbelievable LAME since 2006). I work with kids as well, and in a “religious” context. If i bitch and cuss and moan about all the shit that piss me off and use all of my favorite words, i fear that it will bite me in the ass some day when i want a bunch of rich Jews to give me a 6-figure job.
What’s your deal with all the nastiness? Does everyone at work know you have a blog, or do you somehow stay in cognito?
thanks
-Stu
sorry about the shit typo– *unbelievably.
lame
@ Nancy: Thanks for the words, it’s so nice to have readers who are genuine devotees of profanity. I worry about people who insist on clinging to outdated, Victorian ideology that commands us to limit our vocabulary to PC remarks and non-profane utterances. Fuck those assholes.
@Stu: Thanks, I’ll be sure to tell my husband that there is yet another guy who wants to fuck me (albeit fewer than 5 times) when he decides to divorce my uppity ass. Also, I’m a redhead. That photo just is showin’ off some summer sun-given highlights. I’ll be happy to mentor, though I should state up front that I have a low tolerance for public school and organized religion, so I’m not sure how much of my advice you’ll be able to take and stay employed.
Finally, @ ALL (about the name): Sorica McNasty is my badass pseudonym because I don’t need all the litte douchetards I’ve loved/hated/taught to come find that I’ve exploited their pitiful lives for humor. Ironically, I’m not THAT nasty.
redhead? shit. i’d do you 5 or 6 times, at least once in some dark corner of Seuss Landing.
But anyhow- it boils down to a few simple questions- who knows about this blog? doesn’t linking to your brother increase your chances of being found out by your kids? (what kind of school is it in which you teach anyhow?) do you give a damn if co-workers or students (or your grandma) find your site?
@ Stu: Ah, well, since my kids were never privy to either my maiden name nor my brother’s first name, I’m pretty safe. I wouldn’t be horrified if they found it, of course; I’m just being cautious. I taught senior AP English at a public high school, and now I teach in the Athletic dept. of a southern university. I don’t mind if my co-workers find me — I’ve given the link to most of my friends and family. They all know to use my psuedonym and to never refer to any specifics in my life. Since I never use names, I’m not terribly worried about getting into trouble (re: slander, etc), hence, most of my students are universally referred to as “devil children” (which is apt and helps preserve anonyminity).
Hell, I mean, it’s not like I’m Batman. I won’t lose Wayne Manor if my identity comes to light.
ballsy. just like a Central FL girl.
us South Florida kids worry too much about appearances.
thanks for the tips. i’m impressed by your rambunctiousness.
any time you need a little marital vacation, you just let me know
shit. i apologize. i just read your entry on being hit on all the time, so i don’t want to add to that annoyance. even though i live 11,000 miles away, so it was little more than me being a little smartass. no offense.
but since i’m here, i gotta return to my old question– you tear the guidance counselor a new asshole (or at least shove his dorky glasses up his existing asshole with no lube). you don’t care if HE finds this blog (since you’ve told your coworkers about it)??
this is my last post to this convo– i don’t wanna look like a stalker. that always ends up with me doing time
@ Stu: No worries. You’re clearly more interesting, at least, than a creepy guy in a parking lot with a van full of kittens.
When I make fun of people, it’s for a reason. I HOPE they find this blog. I am not subtle, ever. People that I hate? They KNOW I hate them. This is because I simply tell them: “We’re NOT friends.” Or, “I could happily punch you in the face.” Or, “Fuck off, jizz napkin, before I imortalize your impudence on my blog.”
Ergo, the guidance counselor? He was, firstly, too senile to use the “interweb” and secondly, I’d have been delighted for him to have a first-hand, profanity-laced account of how much I despised him, since at work I had to (sadly) limit my language for the infantile beurocrats.
Good questions! Glad you’re a new loyal reader!!
Hey, I’m glad you stumbled across my blog! I live in NC also. Anyways, I dig your blog and am adding you to my reading list. Have a good one
Have to tell you this….I went to a wildly redneck event this past weekend and watched kids compete in lawn-mower pulls and everyone from kids to 70 or 80 year olds (some looked even older than that…who knows?) compete in lawn-mower races. I predict lawn-mower racing will become the next NASCAR. These “souped up” machines run up to 45 mph and the spite on the track can be felt in the air. The trackside betting scene is hot and heavy, and there were hundereds of spectators. I couldn’t even see until I climbed on some kind “gentleman’s” trailer. I’m looking on craigslist to buy an old frame cheap and get a crazily huge motor put into it so I can join the fun.
Incidentally, I can spell “hundreds.” I should have proofread my comment better.
@ Eth: Contrary to my profession as an English teacher, I really care very little about adult spelling, at least on my blog.
Sounds like a hootenanny of a weekend!!
Sass, I’m a big fan of your work! I would love it if you would koin my community… drop me an email… and check out me community… I think you would be a perfect fit.. Hope to hear from you…
@ Mayor: Thanks for the invite, I’ll be sure to check it out.
I am a huge fan of your blog. I think it’s really great. I hope one day I get as many readers as you on mine! Please check it out sometime (http://scottstipoftheday.blogspot.com)
Keep up the good work!
@ Scott: Flattery will get your everywhere. Thanks for being a reader! I’ll go check out your blog today!
I’ve heeded your suggestions to the public at large, and want to read all incoming news you have about the fucktards, but I’m really stupid. I’ve searched everywhere and can’t figure out how to “follow” your blog. I will continue to reach it through one of my other favorite blogs (Diary of a Mad Blacktress), which I follow through mine (coatchecker.blogspot.com), which is about .00001% entertaining as yours, but I hope to get it to about .001%. Anyway, thanks for the Bumblefucktastic reads!! You’ve inspired me to write more about my chachtastic nights working at a chachtacular club, which is nothing short of chacherrific.
Well thanks, Dani, and sorry you’ve had some tech trouble. I started following blogs by putting all my faves in a “Blog Roll” widget on the side bar, and thus I’ve gained terrible friends and even better enemies. So, good luck with the blog! Thanks for the love — I’ll be sure to check out your site.
Nice – I’m in love!
I love when you’re in love, Walt.
you can write. truly the american style. a legitimate fucking argot and perfection of the simple declarative sentence frag.
why weren’t you around in the 60s? my only consolation was that i grew up experiencing al capp and the schmoo craze. you missed that.
i couldn’t swear in the book, but you might like the total rejection of the legal system, as seen by a 40 year lawyer who never got over being a philosophy major. keep and bear arms, amazon.
keep it up. i try, but i’m 69. age, not the activity…anymore.
bob
Thanks for the words, Bob.
Why don’t you send me an email? I’d like to talk to you more.
sorciamacnasty@hotmail.com