The Detroit Lions are going to be so pissed come draft time.
Ok, so some backstory, realquick, I promise:
My students, half of whom are football players staring down an NFL combine in another couple of years, HATE Tim Tebow. Don’t know who Tebow is? Well, welcome back from Canada or wherever the hell you’ve been. I fucking loathe football and I know who the child-circumsizing, self-righteous bastard is. (See? Your students rub off on you. When they’re not trying to rub up ON you).
My dad, a fanatical Florida Gators fan (think Jimmy Fallon’s character from Fever Pitch, but with Orange and Blue. Going home is like having a seizure), LOVES Tim Tebow.
So I was at an impasse when I came across this tidbit of hilarity: Tebow is noted for being a bitch by his peers.
Not really, obvs, since I just posted it. My moral impasses are both short-lived and tragically trivial.
Here’s the highlight:
Per a league source, after the person administering the test to Tebow’s group had finished, Tebow made a request that the players bow their heads in prayer before taking the 50-question exam.
Said one of the other players in response: “Shut the f–k up.” Others players in the room then laughed.
Hilarity, thy name is Locker Room.
God must not like Tebow…His score on the test was below average.
I feel like God is just sick of Tebow. He probably has to hear him whining every hour on the hour. God Himself is probably all, “Please STFU, dude.”
I live my life in a way carefully arranged to avoid hearing about Tebow. And yet, reading your blog, I fail. God’s plan for him is great indeed. Can I get an “Amen”?
I think he and God have a love/hate relationship. Like, God actually can’t stand the fucker, but there he is, all the time, like an irritating cousin at family functions. “Go bring your Lord another scotch, kid, and then get the fuck out of my way.”
Could Sorcia be a buyer? From today’s ThePostGame website:
He might be the most popular NFL player with the ladies. Tim Tebow’s jersey is flying off shelves again, now that he’s been named starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos. The former University of Florida star is especially popular with women.
The Denver Post reports a quarter of all Tebow jersey sales at the Broncos team stores have been in women’s styles. Marty Garafalo, the man who runs the official Broncos team shops, says Tebow has risen even closer to idol status after his near-comeback Sunday against the Chargers.
“He’s like a rock star,” Garafalo said.