Who Would Jesus Abort?

I mean, if I were a minor deity, I think I would really have spent more of my mortal years coming up with lengthy lists of people that would be, you know, disposed of early on.  Like Hitler, Dick Cheney, the assholes who invented the SATs, and Stephanie Meyer. 

Meanwhile, I’m not insensitive to the fact that abortion is a controversial topic.  For reasons that clearly suggest heavy drug-use of my immediate superiors, I am forced to ask my online classes (in their interweb chat forums that they are graded on, for “participation”), what Buddhists would think about abortion.  This is GOOD, in that it forces my narrow-minded “students” [read: home-schooling helicopter moms, 40-year-old Jesus freaks and twitchy post-Iraq soldiers] to read up about an Eastern religion and supposedly illustrate their knowledge in class.  This is BAD, in that it arouses contempt from this already volatile group whose nuanced world-view tends to contain the phrase, “Let’s just nuke all them brown folks over there in the Middle East!”    Needless to say, I’m treading as lightly as I can.  And ya’ll know my version of “treading lightly,” on a good day, would rarely get me surviving past a littered field of land mines. 

Here’s a delightful smattering of responses from the Buddhism/Abortion topic:  [in advance, please note this giant SIC, right up front.  Thanks.]

“it doesnt matter WHAT they do in tibet or Tahiti or wherever.  This is the USA and Im pretty sure the founding fathers left jesus in charge.”

“Abortion is murder.  how would you liek it if your mother had aborted you?”

“I like how when we do stuff to animals its fine but as soon as you start doing stuff to people we start calling it ABORTION and EUTHANIASIA.”

[in response to one relatively erudite young lady stating that she was sure most major world religions condemned murder, at least theoretically and theologically]:  “Yeah?  You have never been out of this country i am sure.  You would see all the crazy people then who hate us, Americans, and blow everyone up around them just trying to kill a US solider or too.” 

So good news, everyone!  In a few years, every right-wing nut will have an online degree in Business Management and then won’t our corporations be in good hands?  Let’s all take a moments of silence to imagine the bright future ahead.

I DO mean bright.  ‘Cause that shit will likely be an Apocalyptic nuclear blast, designed to kill them pesky brown people. 

And the Tahitians.