Alright, folks. Here’s the deal. I just got back from the Big Apple, and I am going to presage this video by vaunting my newly found expertise:
I drink. A lot. And then sing. And then need a cab. And then sing some more.
That being said, let’s look at the uh, more bizarre fucking message of the video: Let a Stranger Take You Home. WHATHEFUCK, Heineken?! Clearly, brewing beer does not put you in the position to know what it’s like to be a young drunken girl, strange and counter-intuitive as that might seem. I know, I know. Drunk driving is kinda bad… But so is being tits-down tipsy at a bar and being haunted only by the thought, “Well, the beer men said I can just let a stranger take me home…. Ooh! There’s one!”
And no, I don’t believe they’re referring to these Strangers, Perfect though they might be…
Back to Video #1, Exhibit C (for Clusterfuck). That cabbie? He’s about as ethnic as pledge day at Auburn University, kid. Just sayin’. Also, I have a hard time finding a cabbie that will let me smoke a cigarette in his precious, shit-reeking auto, much less one who is going to cheefully jam with me to ancient rap stylings. Finally, who ARE those kids?! 18-year-old hipsters are now big fans of Biz Markie?! Where the fuck all have I been? Oh, nevermind. I’ve been here.
Anyway. Trip to NYC was divine. I made a spectacular fool of myself at Karaoke, but at least I did it with friends. I also captured pictures of the sites: a naked man in a deli, an accordian player wearing a Boba Fett helmet, the menu from a German place honestly named “Lederhosen” that featured “Delicious German Pickle” as a real item. And yes, while there was certainly drinking, at least I didn’t lay down in public this time. I don’t think…
But then, who knows?!
So, apparently one way to give yourself a good name is to let a stranger drive you home….Not sure I’ll be letting my wife in on that little tidbit of info.
Yes, nothing says “good name” like a girl who goes home with strangers. Lord a’mercy.
I would let Biz Markie drive me home! Or Balki Bartokomous. That’s probably it for my shortlist of strangers.
Not Cousin Larry?
I cannot even handle the ferocity that is that rack.
looooove having rack described as ferocious. A+ for Brent today, kids.
Yay! I was one of said friends. I can’t wait for your blog to get obscenely famous. And I can be your publisher.
LYMI
There is no one I’d rather do karaeoke with. Or be a hobo with. Or get raped in a cab with.