In honor of Oscar night (the celebs! the drama! the dead-dog necklaces!), I thought I’d post about the one film I couldn’t believe got snubbed by the Big Gold Dildo: Gran Torino. I mean, c’mon. What kind of American are you if you don’t want to watch Clint Eastwood growl for maybe the last time ever? And his character’s hilarious racism? I haven’t heard so many snarled versions of “zipper heads” since they recaptured Grandpa and put him on display at the War Vets hospital. The look on his face when his ungrateful yuppie son tries to suggest a rest home should be bronzed and used as the new facial mask of the next Oscar statuettes. Between the growling, the sexy car and the old man starting a gang war, I don’t understand what’s NOT to like about this movie.
Perhaps it’s a disconnect between generations? These young people today, they don’t appreciate Dirty Harry/Man with No Name unless he’s simplified and delivered via visual aid. I know, it’s a wicked, lolcat-loving age, to be sure.
Ergo, I bring you (and I guess this is a spoiler warning, though I don’t think I give a lot away)…
LOL Gran Torino!
This is funniez and I haven’t even seen de damn movie. Nice review from Venom. That’s why I’m here. See you around HBDC…
Um, you have lost your mind. Also, this is hilarz! I too loved this movie, it was like old Clint Eastwood (Dirty Harry era) fused with new, director-y Clint Eastwood (late 90s- now) and made this movie. The FAIL image may be my favorite of all, having seen the movie.
Gosh, I’m really sorry I didn’t see what I’m hearing was the feel good movie of the year. I just love it when movies have a serious message and are funny at the same time. Clint’s got it all over Spielburg. I can’t wait to catch it on DVD and watch it with my daughters. I’m sure they’ll think Clint is much hotter than Joe Jonas or Edward the benevolent vampire!
@ Ann: Thanks! I’m a new fan of Venom myself. Ah, Humor Bloggers. Bringing hilarity together from all over the interwebs.
@ Phem: Yes, have. My fave, too, is FAIL.
@ Margo: MUCH HOTTER
I couldn’t even concentrate on the LOL phrases because I was too busy comparing Clint’s body to my 86-year-old grandfather’s. Who stands with upper body leaning backwards and his crotch leaning forward? A: Really old people. I can’t get over it and I can’t take Clint seriously with his big mean face when I could always elbow him in the stomach and win. Nothing badass about that and that makes me sad.
Please create a new blog with this format . . . movie stills meets I Can Has Cheezburger. I smell a hit
It was fun to be taken back to being a teen and watching Eastwood “make my day” with his revenge and anger. I enjoyed getting a little bit of that in this movie even if I did figure out what the ending would be way before it ever happened. I’m still shocked that Paul Newman is dead and soon it’ll be other screen icons that were larger than life in my youth.
@ Sarai: Yeesh. With that visual, I’d be lost too, I admit.
@ Listy: Hurrah! My success beckons!!
@ VE: I died a little inside when Paul left us. Not only did he deprive the acting world of a legend, but I really liked his salad dressings and they’ve gone to total shit since his death. Oh Paul, how could you?!
Ummmmmmmm, Clint Eastwood, ancient and yet, still doable…
stopping by from Vemons blog to say HI and I see why she picked you for her sunshine…
I can hardly stop laughing long enough to type this! Brilliant, sheer comedy genius!
I only wish I’d thought of it first.
Saw Gran Torino…loved it. Clint Eastwood made that movie (no pun intended)! What a character. And what a character you are with your take on this film. Very funny.
I loved Gran Torino! It made me sad though seeing Clint getting so old.I use to love Dirty Harry. Nice to see he hasn’t lost his growl though.
@ Venom: Agreed!
@ Georgie: Thanks! Glad you stopped by!
@ HumorSmith: Flattery will get you everywhere…
@ nonamedufus: Yeah, he was hysterical. I thought I was going to die when they tried to suggest the old folks’ home. Thanks for the love!
@ Thinkin: mmmm. Growl….
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do this to all movies (or atleast special ones)
HILARIOUS!
I have clearly not been on your blog in a while. Not only has there been a major site overhaul, but you are making LOLz like none other. This is truly genius. Oh, and I think what makes me laugh even more is the tag “brown people.”
Can I get placed in that category?
I think you’re my new internet crush.
@ Blacktress: Aw, you ARE my “brown people” category!! lol — I had to create that when I was teaching at John Denver High School.
Looooveeee
Holy shit, yours is the gift of Comedy.
I particularly liked that picture where the kids are offering the plant and you captioned “FAIL.” TOO fucking funny.
I have to see that movie. You’re right: C. Eastwood is a Hollywood god. He could be around for a while more, yet. Remember: His mama is still kickin’ it and she’s over 100 years old. Good genes, there, for Clinty. (He doesn’t mind when I call him “Clinty.” In fact, he gets pissed off when I don’t.)
[...] 08 2009 In the spirit of such previous posts mocking the film industry (see Man Hanistons and Lol Gran Torino), I bring you more movie stills from a popular flick that is just dying for a little dry [...]