The AP kids have stopped stealing large, heavy things, at least. However, now they’ve started taking the batteries out of the other teachers’ remote controls. This is causing no small amount of chaos in the classrooms. Meanwhile, I have a drawer full of double As, and the drawer just keeps getting fuller and fuller, each and every day.
The other evil trick is when they put a few drops of food coloring in the hand sanitizer bottles. They’re really sneaky about it — they put the drops in the tube itself so it doesn’t dye the whole bottle, and then the next person to squeeze out a dollop of germ-free goo has stained hands all day. This has been especially problematic this week because the flu is going around, and everyone is using hand sanitizer like mad. I’ve had to employ one relatively non-Devil child to be my Goo-Tester (slowly, I’m morphing into a miniature emperor of Rome); much like the ancient taste testers of old, this brave student tests the hand sanitizer for me before I get myself a dollop.
Otherwise, the kids are rapidly decomposing into wild beasts. Spring Break is only three weeks away and already they’ve lost their minds. If I have to listen to one more well-meaning girl tell me about her Spring Break plans with the boyfriend, or, worse, have to crumple up another ill-timed note wherein she writes her said boyfriend of said plans, IN MY CLASS, I may lose my mind.
We’re even failing at MacBeth, my fail-proof unit that all other classes have loved, however bafflingly. The kids are just incapable of sustaining a thought from one day to the next. It’s horrifying, and I know it will only get worse when they (Jesus-eating-Crackers-Save-Me!) return from Spring Break and it’s just a looooong 2 months between then and graduation.
In other news, the Lockdown went well. Except for the one kid with severe, unmedicated ADHD who physically could not stop talking/moving when we were supposed to be hiding from the gunman. This kid is like the product between PeeWee Herman and Flava Flav. The rednecks in the class promptly tossed him out into the hallway. They said he was taking one for the team. When the student resource officer (= school cop) returned him later, the man looked haggard and worn, saying only, “I would have let the gunman have him, too.”
Man! I so want you to come to the AP Annual Conference this year and just like ‘warm up’ the room for the keynote speakers or something
@JellyKean: Oooh, schedule me in. I’m even funnier after a few cocktails…and what AP conference is complete without cocktails?