Normally I decline these types of things when I get them via email, but really, what else is a blog for if not self-aggradizement in the form of personal information?
Besides, Clara tagged me and she knows too many of my secrets for me to deny her anything.
1) I use to actively confuse the words “gentiles” and “genitals.” Oh yes. Hilarity ensued. I did this until I was 13. Then I did it at the dinner table and was “corrected” by my howling-with-laughter goblin family.
2) I lost my virginity while listening to The Labyrinth soundtrack. Now, tragically, whenever I hear “Dance, Magic, Dance!” or see David Bowie tooling around in tights, playing with acrylic balls, my headlights go up. Can’t be helped.
3) I have not, and never will (God willing and the creek don’t rise), ever read Moby Dick. Fuck you, whale. I don’t give a tinker’s damn what happens to your sorry ass.
4) My favorite food in the whole world is movie theater popcorn. Sometimes I sit through terrible movies just to be able to satisfy a popcorn fix. If I know that a movie and/or popcorn is in my near future, my whole day brightens and I’m a kinder, gentler person.
5) I used to think the lyric was, “Wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night.”
6) Long ago I decided that if I were to pursue a career in music, I’d take on the stage name of “Sorcia McNasty.” Sometimes, when I need to take care of business, I mutter to myself, “C’mon, Sorcia McNasty. Make it happen!”
7) I once won a wet t-shirt contest. Hands down, naturally.
8) When I got mono in high school, my mom busted out a medical journal and diagnosed me with syphilis. The weeks between her amateur diagnosis and my blood test results were decidedly fraught with guilt and evil looks.
Those are the first 8 that popped into my head. Kudos to Clara for suggesting such a helpful catharsis. Now it’s my turn to tag! You’re It: Mike, Jane and Susanna, via your blogs. Anyone else is welcome to contribute in the Comments field.
Wait, what now? I have to post random little known facts about me? I’m scurred.
My question for you is: Why did gentiles/genitals come up at your dinner table? Which one were they correcting to the other?
Really, must I? Is this the promise of the internets foretold?
Jane and Mike: Yes, so the internet writeth, so let it be done.
Jane: I think we were talking about a sex ed class in school and I furiously snapped, “how would you like it if someone lectured you on YOUR GENTILES?”
I liked Moby Dick. I have a vague feeling that I read an abridged version, and I don’t remember a thing about it, but it was pretty compelling at the time.
You read Chaucer and I’ll give old Moby a shot (pun intended)…
I’ve done your dirty work. Next thing you know, you’ll be forwarding some email from Nigeria with an offer to net me millions.